couldn't be more simple

if a family want a girl to learn 

and the family find a guy that know a little 
and girl is not attracted to guy 
and family want girl to date guy so that girl will learn from guy 
then girl will only learn a little because guy only know a little 
and girl will be unhappy because she is not attracted to guy 

but if girl is attracted to a man 
and that man know much 
then if girl date that man, then girl can learn a lot from that man 
and girl will be happy 

then later girl can learn her family and friends 

family happy
girl happy 
man happy 

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