want me to become official in some way
probably in business or politics or whatever
because then I would publicly belong to one country
or group of countries
so that other countries wouldn't be able to claim that I belong to them
if I'm not official
then I could seemingly belong to different countries
that are enemies against each other
but if I would become official
then there would be an increased demand to fake my death
in order to protect me
and then I wouldn't be official again
and then the process risk being repeated again
so I'm better off not being official
and probably most countries are better off if I'm not official
but that's not how desire works
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