difficult life versus miserable life

I don't think that I have ever lived in difficult circumstances 

but I do think that I have been living in miserable circumstances 

most of my life 

when I sleep outside, I still have access to food 

so that's not too difficult 

but when I slept inside most of my life 

and had acces to food 

then I was abused 

so I was living in miserable circumstances 

when I was younger and looked physically fit 

then I was prevented from dating attractive girls a bit younger than me 

that were in love with me 

so I was living in miserable circumstances 

when my wife and son was living with me 

then I had difficulties obtaining a work 

so I was living in miserable circumstances 

when my son was taken away from me in a custody battle 

so that my son only lived with me every second weekend 

then it became easier for me to obtain work 

so I was living in miserable circumstances 

I have many things that motivate me about the future 

but what motivates me most of all 

is my desire 

for extinction of most humans