difficult life versus miserable life

I don't think that I have ever lived in difficult circumstances 
but I do think that I have been living in miserable circumstances 
most of my life 

when I sleep outside, I still have access to food 
so that's not too difficult 

but when I slept inside most of my life 
and had acces to food 
then I was abused 
so I was living in miserable circumstances 

when I was younger and looked physically fit 
then I was prevented from dating attractive girls a bit younger than me 
that were in love with me 
so I was living in miserable circumstances 

when my wife and son was living with me 
then I had difficulties obtaining a work 
so I was living in miserable circumstances 

when my son was taken away from me in a custody battle 
so that my son only lived with me every second weekend 
then it became easier for me to obtain work 
so I was living in miserable circumstances 

I have many things that motivate me about the future 
but what motivates me most of all 
is my desire 
for extinction of most humans 

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