theoretical space warfare scenario

game plan: become cyborg, provoke aliens until they start flinging asteroids at us 
go to other group of aliens to seek help, request advanced technologies for self defense with the motivation that humanity don't want to be a burden on other aliens defense forces 
use aquired technology to start a war between other alien factions 
when different alien factions seek contact with humanity to end hostilities with an diplomatic effort, act fast and claim to represent humanity  exaggarate misunderstandings and demand even more advanced technologies as settlement 
convince aliens of diplomatic success and demand personal diplomatic status in newly formed federation 
use newly aquired weapons technologies to attack clueless aliens that have no concept of war 
establish contact with clueless aliens and offer them help to win a war against humanity by taking command of their newly formed military  contact other aliens and claim there is a traitor within humanity who is provoking conflict and may possibly be an alien/human hybrid 
to solve this crisis you demand to become an operative of the federation with full access to all of it's capabilities, not excluding "temporary" military control 

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